glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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