you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
