I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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