I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
