I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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