I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
