Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
