I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
