I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
