You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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