Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
