she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
