Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
