i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Four minutes until I can fart!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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