I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize