pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
