Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
