you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
