I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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