How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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