May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize