I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
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