dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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