batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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