it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
