I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Randomize
