whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
