I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
