At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
