I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
