This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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