if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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