The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It was confusing and full of hummus
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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