I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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