Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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