Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
