Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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