So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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