My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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