She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
