my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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