i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
