just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
