I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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