The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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