New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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