so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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