he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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