NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
