Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
