guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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