I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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