So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
